As I sit here I am simply
at a loss for words to tell you how much I loved you or what a huge
part of my life is now missing. I know tomorrow there will be lots of
words said about you and what an incredible person you were and how
much you were loved. I wish that I had the words strong enough to
give justice to you and the part you played in my life. You were the
best friend that I have ever had. When I look back at all the crazy
fun times we shared, I am just unable to believe that they are over.
It never mattered what we were doing… sitting on your back porch
drinking some beers, eating wings at D&Bs, accidentally shoplifting,
putting up Christmas trees, almost peeing our pants counting just how
many puts I could miss on the golf course or just chilling at the
lake. With you everything was fun. Your optimism helped balance me.
Your belief in me gave me confidence. Even with as high-maintenance
and emotional as we all know I can be, you loved me anyway and,
despite what everyone else said to me, you told me to never change.
With you I could just be me… you never judged me or told me I was
broken. You helped me find the silver lining in every dark cloud… and
when we couldn’t… well… you’d just say “Well, **** it! Want a
cigarette and a beer?” When I look back on the things you saw me
through, those things that only you and I know, I am scared to death
of tomorrow because I don’t know how to do this without you. When
this happened my boss asked me if there was anyone I wanted to call or
be with… but the only answer I had for him was that it was you. It
has always been YOU. You I always wanted to celebrate with or your
shoulder that I wanted to cry on.
And now here we all are
gathered together mourn the loss of everything that was you… even
after a week there are times that I simply can’t believe that this is
real. I still want to pick up the phone and call you and then realize
that I can’t. I cannot comprehend why this happened. You were loved
and needed by so many… why have you been taken away from us now? We
still had so many plans and things we were going to do. We had so
much more life to share…
I know that in time an
answer, or a least a peace about this will be found. Until then all I
can say is that there is not a life you touched that you did not
change. Everything about you will be missed… My only hope now is that
we will all try to be the friends to one another that Mark was to each
of us. That is the only way I know of to keep his light shining….
All my love,